A Black Man Responds

22 Sep

Here’s what a heterosexual black man (Vassago) had to say about Professor Banks’s suggestion to “date out, not down.”

But before that, here’s a recap if you need one on Banks. It starts around 0:33 after the advertisement.

Words by Vassago:

I couldn’t put my finger on what bothers me so much about Professor Banks books/articles and other authors giving reasons why to date white cats. Then it finally hit me. It feels like the author is giving permission to find love by giving reasons that do nothing but undermine the entire reason black folks aren’t married now. The last few articles I’ve read can be summed up like this: black men aren’t educated, they’re locked up or they’re so elite they don’t want to get married. Those same articles also state, studies show that white men are more stable, caring, nurturing and their poop smells like lavender, lol. They aren’t intimidated by a smart black woman like all black men seem to be these days.

Why not just write a book on just finding love regardless of color? That’s like a successful black CEO writing a book for folks searching for a new job titled:

Are Fortune 500 Companies For White People?
Chapter 1: Your current employer doesn’t value you as a person like Google.
Chapter 2: Studies show that Google employees are more likely to wake up happy.
Chapter 3: Google isn’t intimidated by employees with advanced degrees unlike other companies

Yes, this is an exaggeration.

These ideas reek of equivalent retaliation. Black guys do it, so why not black women? So we’re back in the third grade? Why not just do you from the beginning?   I’ll be completely honest, I don’t understand the plight of a single black woman. Do I know single black women that are wife material? Absolutely. I also know single black women who are incapable of maintaining a stable relationship. I attempted to explain to a single black woman on a few things that would bother me if we were dating. Her reply was, “I still get piped.” I wish I could make this up. She didn’t care to hear what I had to say. She wanted a man, but even though she doesn’t have one, she settled on the fact that she still gets laid on the regular. I’m consistently brushed off because I’m married. Yep, the minute the ring was placed on my finger, all those lame dates were erased from my memory. Yep, I no longer have single friends and family members that speak on the game.

I’m just spectator watching the game, pay me no attention. 

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