The End of Men

3 Dec


I just started reading Hanna Rosin’s The End of Men and the Rise of Women. I love the feminine book jacket clad in bright yellow and hot pink. Way cute!  And she blew my mind with the initial sentences of the first paragraph. According to Rosin senior editor at The Atlantic,

In 2009, in a beach town in Virginia where my family had been vacationing for several years, I noticed something curious. Every time I ventured away from the houses rented by the vacationers–to the supermarket, say, or the ice cream store–I almost never saw any men.

Boo-ya!  Get out of my head Rosin.

That’s exactly how I feel every time I leave my frigging house. Okay yes I’m exaggerating a little when I say every time but just a smidge. Whenever I go out to a social hour or to the club (which is yes rare) I feel like it’s always a hen party.  Am I wrong? I need to  take the advice of a friend and hit up a sports bar on NFL game day. Sadly I have yet to make the effort to feign an interest in sports in hopes of meeting an interesting man.

In the second chapter, “Hearts of Steel: Single Girls Master the Hook-Up” Rosin successfully tackles the topic women my age incessantly debate, securing a long-term commitment from a man and perhaps his subsequent baby.  And these issues aren’t just on the minds of all the single ladies. My happily married, male friend recently poised this question, “Will marriage be obsolete in 80yrs? Are morals really in play on why less folks are bunned up? It’s not a situation where everyone goes by the adage, ‘I can do bad by myself’?”

Check out what Rosin has to say:

the end of man 1the end of men 2the end of man 3the end of man 4

And there you have it. And highlighted in yellow is where I think a lot of us are, making our own way.

And regarding the low cost of sex, does this mean that my church pastors were right? That women should withhold sex for a long-term commitment? It appears so.  Is “the cookie” the ultimate prize?  I don’t think the no-sex policy rings true for all men. Of course, there are some men who will marry after sex enters the equation.  But the real question is how much of a motivator is sex when trying to secure a long-term commitment from a man.  Devout religious couples who practice abstinence marry so early because their hormones are raging out of control.  Undoubtedly, practicing abstinence brings a sense of urgency to the relationship. But abstinence is not for all. I have yet to date a man, Christian or otherwise, who was pro team-celibacy. There are some men and women who won’t even consider dating a person if sex is not an option. It just the depends on the individual and the relationship.

In the fourth chapter, “The New American Matriarchy: The Middle Class Gets a Sex Change,” Rosin focuses on how what’s currently occurring in  black culture may play-out down the line for whites when it comes to marriage (a point Ralph Richard Banks already noted in his book). Rosin writes:

The whole country’s future could look much as the present does for many lower-class African-Americans: The mothers pull themselves up, but the men don’t follow. First-generation college-educated white women may join their black counterparts in a new kind of middle class, where marriage is increasingly rare.

Not very encouraging stuff huh?  But what’s a girl to do?

I’ll let you know how that sports bar turns out. Go Ravens!


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