On Color + Desirable Beauty

3 Jun

This past weekend my 23-year-old cousin informed me that I was going to have mixed cousins; meaning that the woman he would ultimately impregnate and I assume marry (not sure in which order) would be non-black thereby resulting in mixed off-spring. Now I am familiar with my cousins “limited” dating history. Although he has bedded plenty of women of all races, the only women who seem to gain his serious interest romantically resemble some Jennifer Lopez/Selena Gomez hybrid. When he shows me a photo of the girl of the moment, it’s no surprise what she’ll look like.

However, this is the first time that he’s clearly articulated that he would not be considering a black woman as a long-term partner. Black women aren’t even on his radar — not even registering the slightest blip. And as a black woman this saddens me. When living in New York City together he would say that all the black girls he came across were “chickenheads.” Not likely. And now his reasoning is there are no black women in France/Italy where he’s resided for the past 8 months or so. Yeah right?!

I told him that he should consider why we’re not even an option. Just give it some thought.

My mom says that he wants to marry someone who resembles his mother — who granted is fair-skinned with naturally straight hair. I suppose this is not out of the realm of possibility. However, I choose to believe that he drank the koolaid.

Just last week Dawn Richard of Danity Kane was called to task regarding a recent selfie she recently posted. Clearly the girl has had some work done. She doesn’t even look like the same person —  she has a narrower nose, smaller chin, and her skin even looks brighter.

And this saddens me too. But I understand.

And she is free to do what she wants with her body just as my cousin is free to marry whichever nonblack woman he chooses.


PS Kimberly Foster of For Harriet penned an insightful post on Dawn Richard’s transformation.



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