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Conversations with Coworkers Cont’d

20 Dec

So me and the office folks were at it again.

The topic – relationships.

The catalyst – not really sure.

Like Andre Benjamin, my memory sucks. My sister just reminded me of this today.


I think it all began with my boss (Mark) telling me that he planned on ending his relationship with the woman he’s been dating the last year. Termination date —  December 26th. Why the day after Christmas? Because he can’t do it on Christmas and her birthday. Yes, this unsuspecting woman shares her birthday with Jesus of Nazareth. Home girl, just can’t win.  Can she?

I think Mark wants to start off 2017 with a clean slate. Who can blame him? New year, new you and all of that. I’m coloring my hair. Plus Mark’s girlfriend is making plans for New Year’s Eve, so lets abort this failed mission of romantic mediocrity shall we. I can dig it.

So a discussion of the termination of Mark’s romantic entanglement mushrooms into a generic discussion on local dating between three 30-ish singles (myself, Mark, and another woman (Stephanie)).

Mark states that good company and conversation are hard to find.


Stephanie shares that some of the men she’s dated have complained that she’s so self-sufficient that she doesn’t need them.  Hmmm. Define need.  Men have told me that I’m intimidating.



Mark mentions that one of his single friends decided to end things with a woman he was dating because she didn’t keep a neat home. Now by untidy I mean some shirts were scattered about the floor.  I’m not referring to a roach-infested, unsanitary, basket-of-deplorable dump. Now both parties are employed well. The messy woman is a lawyer and apparently Mark’s friend has a really good job, code for he makes bank.

But where does Mark’s friend reside?

At home with his momma.






Conversations with Coworkers

15 Dec

Convo #1

Last week I asked a coworker if she was taking time off for the holidays. We’re civil servants and the federal government is typically a ghost town during the month of December with so many people having use-or-lose leave to burn.  She said she wasn’t taking time off for Christmas because she’s not married nor does she have children.


I said neither am I, but I’ll be taking time off. Everyone needs a break. Americans work way too much as it is. Forty percent of Americans do not use all of the vacation days we’re entitled. If you’re fortunate enough to have paid leave — use it. And women tend to do the heavy lifting (lest we forget) so we truly need a break to recover, rest, and recharge.

Time off isn’t the sole domain of couples and/or breeders. In fact, I’d argue that singles actually need it more because we’re a unit of one with no one to share life’s load. We’re more likely to be the caretakers of family members/friends and the contributors to our community as a whole.

Yes, our capitalistic society likes to center holiday fun around kids and obligatory-gift-exchanges. But festive adventure shouldn’t end with adulthood; nor should one’s parental and relationship status influence one’s propensity to enjoy life. The child-free and/or spouse-free needn’t opt out of holiday cheer and well-deserved time off. Party.  Sleep.  Vacate. Drown yourself in tacky holiday decorations. Do absolutely nothing.

We all deserve it.

Convo #2

A married coworker (Kim) told us that she “pulled” her husband with her tasty home-cooked meals. Apparently Kim’s now-husband was heavy into that gym life and was eating low-calorie bland meals before her arrival. Got ’em, Kim said. I assume with her macaroni and cheese.

A male coworker (Mark) cosigned with the adage, a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. We’ve heard it all before. Somebody cue up the Sunshine Anderson.

But what’s path to a woman’s heart? What’s the corresponding adage for that?

In We Should All Be Feminists, Chimamnda Ngozi Adichie writes

We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.

My point exactly. Where’s the instructional for men? They’re left to their own devices and women are expected to silently and graciously endure.




Curious by Donald Glover

28 Jun


Now this teaser trailer has piqued my interest. I’m not a big Childish Gambino fan but I do like Donald Glover. He can be my man crush Monday going up on a Tuesday.

And he’s using Tame Impala’s New Person, Same Old Mistakes song that RiRi redid. Plus 2 points! That song is hypnosis personified.

I’ll bite (and some mo’ stuff).   🙂

Best Twitter Rant Ever @beeyroyce

23 Mar

So I know Yeezy has been getting all the attention due to his recent tweeted soliloquies but I stumbled across this glorious thread by @beeyroyce that I endorse wholeheartedly.  Words to live by ladies, for sure.

Beey Rant 1

Beey Rant 2



Oh and this just in, black Men in the DMV only attend sporting events. I know this isn’t news for most of us single black women living in the Washington, DC metropolitan area (hence the sarcasm).  But I do appreciate VSB for vocalizing it.

Now if only they could clone eligible Idris Elba-esque versions of themselves.

Extensions Not Needed

19 Oct

TarajiTaraji P. Henson aka Queen Cookie recently donned her natural cornrowed hair in a photo shoot for CR Fashion Book. Apparently, Henson’s scarf came off while she was changing and photographer Bruce Weber loved the intricate cornrows that lay beneath. Henson was hesitant at first, afraid of being so visibly vulnerable (minus her weave). According to Henson, “…part of me was like, No, no, no, NO! This is the hair no one is supposed to see. This is like behind-closed doors hair. I feel naked.” But Henson pushed through her fears and the results are stunning. A reminder that black women are beautiful in all forms.

Check out the short film starring, Henson, musician Jon Batiste, Jussie Smollett, NBA player Michael Beasley, and model Henry Watkins.

What’s the Deal with DST?

12 Mar

Since Empire is on as I type, I’ll make this a quickie. (I can’t miss Queen Cookie.) Here’s an entertaining and informative video from John Oliver on Daylight Saving Time. I really enjoy his show Last Week Tonight. It’s laugh-out-loud funny, intelligent, and daring. And of course I love the Brits.


I’m still adjusting to the time change. I do enjoy longer summer days though. Why don’t we just switch to DST all year around? Some countries have actually adopted the measure. Here’s an article supporting permanent DST.


4 Mar

Dear March,

Where is Spring?

I’m so over this cold weather with its freezing temperatures and rain alongside shovel worthy-snow and slap-you-in-the-face sleet. I could really use a trip to the Caribbean. Or Vegas.  South Beach would be lovely right about now. This has been a true winter for us in the DMV, something we haven’t experienced in several years. Take that global warming. Just kidding.  The only silver linings for me are telework, delays, and snow days. But I digress.

Work is perpetually brutal but that’s nothing new.  What’s new is this encounter I had with a 58-year-old coworker via instant message (IM).

I’ve never met “Francis” in the flesh. He works in another building about 15-20 minutes away from my location. However, we have conversed over the telephone and via IM. “Francis” has attempted to be somewhat flirty with me in the past but I usually deflect; either that or cut the convo short. I’ve got work to do.  Yadda, yadda, yadda. And to be clear I have to engage with “Francis” regarding work matters; thus making completely ignoring him out of the question (unfortunately).

So I guess it was Testosterone Tuesday and “Francis” was feeling particularly ballsy. He reached out and asked me how my day was going. Perhaps our telephone conversation regarding a work issue the day prior opened the door. Not sure.

“Francis” explains that he was at the gym at 5:00AM that day working out.

I grant “Francis” the obligatory kudos and then he proceeds to tell me that he’s exercising for me in hopes that one day we might meet in person. And then, “who knows?”

I tell “Francis” that I needn’t be his motivation for exercising and that the very notion of such a thing is “ill-advised.”

According to “Francis,” I’m trying to “steal his joy.” And that the idea of him and I walking along some random ass beach is his only glimmer of happiness.

Yes “Francis” has a flair for the dramatic.

I tell him that I’m flattered but not interested.

“Francis” responds,  “Interested in what?”

Really?  So now all of the sudden you’re an imbecile? Early-stage dementia setting in huh?

I say, “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“Francis” then claims that he was only “kidding” and that I need to “stay in my lane.” Ok, old man. I told him that I had to go and closed the conversation box.

what the eff








And then you bitch out and backpedal. Really “Francis?” Stand your ground. You’re pushing 60 for Pete’s sake!

I just don’t understand some men. I consider some to be emotional terrorists. I have other recent examples but this post is long enough.

And I am beyond tired.


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