Tag Archives: black women

Murmurings of a Black Male

17 Nov

This week I listened to a black man profess to having difficulty meeting women in the DC area.

eye-roll

Stats include he’s 30, highly-educated, decent looking, gainfully employed, and (from what I can discern) self-sufficient. He is also the father of two boys; he had a child at 20 and then again with his now ex-wife. (If I have the story right.) He’s certainly not the tallest man in the room. I’m guessing in the 5’7 to 5’8 range, so if you’re a stickler for height he might not make the cut. (Get it? Tee hee.) But surely there are enough petit women roaming these DMV streets who won’t take issue with his height. Or nah?

So of course I counter with — all these women around here and you’re complaining….(my usual response). He has a girlfriend BTW; they’ve been dating for a year. According to Mr. Looks-Good-On-Paper, he finds difficulty meeting quality women. There may be quantity, but there is a shortage of quality he said. I’ve heard this statement before, several times from different black men. And by quality this particular guy means a woman with a good job, attractive, fit, self-sufficient, and no children (even though he has two kids in tow but I didn’t call him on that one, not yet).

I freely admit that dating is challenge for most, if not all. There are so many factors involved (e.g., timing, availability, location, attraction, happenstance, societal pressures, and the list goes on). Furthermore, these days we expect to have it all when it comes to long-term partnership. We’re not simply looking for financial security and pursuing procreation as the daters who came before us. We’re all about the total package in 2016. Is he cute? Is she smart? Does he make me laugh? What’s her credit score?  Is he physically active? Does she like sports?

So we’ve set the bar high folks (or at least most of us have). And finding “one of the ones” who meets our non-negotionables isn’t easy.

That being said, I still maintain that it’s harder for women, than for men.  In All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, author Rebecca Traister said that women tend to get the short end of the stick in romantic realm. Hells yeah. And it gets even more difficult as we women age (gracefully, no less).

I’d rather not hear men complain about quality when they, at the very least, have quantity.  There can be no quality if there is no quantity; and that’s where many 30+ women land. Where?  Oh where, is the quantity? Since returning to the DC area, most of the men I meet in my age range (who seem decent and are physically attractive) are already spoken for. It’s called assortative mating. And as women age, the number of single available males dwindles. Jon Birger examines this in Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game.

I feel  as though I’ve discussed this ad nauseam on WABGTD (see past posts) as well as in my personal life with family, friends, and coworkers.  I’m kinda tired of talking about it. And I’m certainly tired of hearing men complain, especially a man who already has someone.

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ICYMI: Issa Rae’s Insecure on HBO

11 Oct

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You can now view the first episode of Issa Rae’s new HBO show Insecure on YouTube. Woo hoo!  If you’ve watched Issa’s hit web series Awkward Black Girl, her new show will remind you of that (but in a good way). It’s funny but familiar. Apparently, many want Issa to continue down her awkward path, as she explained in a recent interview with Jimmy Fallon.  Typecasting strikes yet again.

I enjoyed the first episode. It’s good to see black women represented in complex, refreshing ways. And I’m glad she’s bringing issues that black women face to the forefront but with humor. The music is on point too, with Raphael Saadiq selecting the tracks of the show’s premier episode. You can listen to the songs on Spotify  but I also found the listing here if you’re not on Spotify (like myself).

Insecure airs on HBO, Sundays at 10:30pm (way beyond what should be my bedtime).

Looky here.

CRWN Magazine

10 Oct

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A good friend just shared with me that there’s now a lifestyle magazine dedicated to black women with natural hair – CRWN magazine. The first issue was released back in August. I have yet to purchase it. It’s a hefty $20, but perhaps it’s as thick as a book? Maybe? Hopefully? Apparently, CRWN will not only feature everyday black women rocking natural styles but will also include topics of gender, politics, fashion, and so on. Sounds and looks good to me.

P.S.

And back to Solange’s slayage, she released a short film on the creative process she underwent when producing A Seat at the Table. She wrote all the songs. What talent! And the legendary Raphael Saadiq laid the foundation for Cranes in the Sky. I should have known. His sound is timeless.

Looky here.

 

Solange Unleashes the Fire

5 Oct

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Since I keep paying for this url, then I need to type some shit huh? Lol.

Well if you haven’t done so already, do yourself a favor and give Solange’s latest album A Seat at the Table a listen. I bought it today and absolutely love it. It’s intelligent, earnest, and eclectic. This album is truly a love song for and about black people with songs like Don’t Touch My Hair, F.U.B.U (for us by us), and the pearls of wisdom dropped by No Limit architect Master P.

Also I’m truly thankful for an album that’s melodically and lyrically diverse. I’m so not in the mood for over-saturated songs about romantic coupling. What can I say? It’s not my mood right now and there are so many topics to explore musically.

My favorite song at the moment (if I had to pick) is Cranes in the Sky. Solange released a video on her web site along with a video for Don’t Touch My Hair.

The video for Cranes in the Sky is included below.

PS Anderson .Paak is worth a listen as well. His latest album Malibu is awesome as well as his prior release Venice. I think I enjoy Venice more due to the variety of subjects and its high energy. But both are great!

Another Awesome Podcast: 2 Dope Queens

12 Apr

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I’m jet-lagged so this shall be quick. Speaking of jet-lag.  Shot out to Portland, Oregon for the tasty donuts at Blue Star Donuts and the amazing ice cream at Salt and Straw. Of course, I shan’t neglect to mention all of the super-polite folk I encountered whilst visiting. They are mad chill out there. #westcoastvibes

Next month, I’ve got San Francisco on tap. #eatwelltraveloften

But I digress. So much for being brief….

I already mentioned the Another Round podcast with Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton of Buzzfeed which I thoroughly enjoy.  But here’s some new ish for you. I recently discovered 2 Dope Queens with funny black girls Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson. 2 Dope Queens is just two podcasts in (the third will be released by the time this post publishes) and it’s hilarious; like LOL a gang of cry-laughing emojis funny. The podcast was recently ranked the #1 on iTunes. Cheers ladies!  Also I would like to give a special shot out to Naomi Ekperigin of episode two. Her bit brought me much joy while awaiting my delayed flight at PDX.

So check these funny, hot queens out yo.

Best Twitter Rant Ever @beeyroyce

23 Mar

So I know Yeezy has been getting all the attention due to his recent tweeted soliloquies but I stumbled across this glorious thread by @beeyroyce that I endorse wholeheartedly.  Words to live by ladies, for sure.

Beey Rant 1

Beey Rant 2

 

 

Oh and this just in, black Men in the DMV only attend sporting events. I know this isn’t news for most of us single black women living in the Washington, DC metropolitan area (hence the sarcasm).  But I do appreciate VSB for vocalizing it.

Now if only they could clone eligible Idris Elba-esque versions of themselves.

MHP Exits MSNBC #MSNBCSoWhite

29 Feb

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It’s the end of an era. Sadly the Melissa Harris-Perry Show has come to an abrupt end after fours years on MSNBC. Early Sunday morning, Melissa posted the above picture on social media confirming what I hoped would not be, her farewell to #Nerdland. Over the past few weeks, MSNBC has preempted the MHP Show for extensive primary election coverage as well as coverage of the  Blizzard of 2016 (if my memory bank fails me not).

Although the details have yet to be fleshed out completely and who knows if they ever shall, Melissa Harris-Perry released a letter to her staff, later published on Medium.com. Check out this snippet.

Here is the reality: our show was taken — without comment or discussion or notice — in the midst of an election season. After four years of building an audience, developing a brand, and developing trust with our viewers, we were effectively and utterly silenced. Now, MSNBC would like me to appear for four inconsequential hours to read news that they deem relevant without returning to our team any of the editorial control and authority that makes MHP Show distinctive.

The purpose of this decision seems to be to provide cover for MSNBC, not to provide voice for MHP Show. I will not be used as a tool for their purposes. I am not a token, mammy, or little brown bobble head. I am not owned by Lack, Griffin, or MSNBC. I love our show. I want it back. I have wept more tears than I can count and I find this deeply painful, but I don’t want back on air at any cost. I am only willing to return when that return happens under certain terms.

Apparently MSNBC asked Harris-Perry to return to her show this past weekend. She declined. And it was announced that MSNBC had severed ties with the Wake Forest Professor, subsequently confirmed by Harris-Perry’s farewell post on Twitter and Instagram.

I am truly saddened to see the MHP Show end. I watched it religiously. Not only was it intelligent, diverse, progressive, and informative; the MHP Show offered a platform for all. It provided a necessary outlet for those typically ignored and silenced by mainstream media. The contribution of the MHP Show cannot be overstated and its impromptu demise shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Some on social media have called for a boycott of MSNBC. Melissa Harris-Perry’s departure is seen as pattern of the network’s poor treatment of its minority show hosts. Politics Nation with Reverend Al Sharpton was moved from weekdays at 6:00PM to a now Sunday at 8:00AM time slot. Joy-Ann Reid’s The Reid Report fizzled out after just a year. Now with Alex Wagner was cancelled this past summer. The Rundown with Jose Diaz-Balart was under fire at one point. MSNBC threatened to cancel and/or shorten the weekday show.  A former MSNBC employee shared that MHP Show staff members  “watched all of this happen and felt like it was only a matter of time for them.”

So yeah let’s boycott. I’ll miss the contributions of Joy-Ann Reid, Rachel Maddow, and Chris Hayes but I’ll live. There’s CNN and PBS for what it’s worth. And I follow them on the Twitters.

I wish Melissa Harris-Perry and her staff continued success. I thank them for tremendously blessing us with their painstaking, intellectually-vigorous, and groundbreaking work. The MPH Show was indeed a joy and a weekend highlight for me that will be missed sorely. Hopefully #Nerdland will reemerge in space where its valued, respected, and rewarded.

I’ve included below a public dialogue between Melissa Harris-Perry and cultural critic bell hooks on “Black Female Voices: Who is Listening.” It was filmed at The New School in 2013.

Who is listening indeed?

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