Tag Archives: DMV

Murmurings of a Black Male

17 Nov

This week I listened to a black man profess to having difficulty meeting women in the DC area.


Stats include he’s 30, highly-educated, decent looking, gainfully employed, and (from what I can discern) self-sufficient. He is also the father of two boys; he had a child at 20 and then again with his now ex-wife. (If I have the story right.) He’s certainly not the tallest man in the room. I’m guessing in the 5’7 to 5’8 range, so if you’re a stickler for height he might not make the cut. (Get it? Tee hee.) But surely there are enough petit women roaming these DMV streets who won’t take issue with his height. Or nah?

So of course I counter with — all these women around here and you’re complaining….(my usual response). He has a girlfriend BTW; they’ve been dating for a year. According to Mr. Looks-Good-On-Paper, he finds difficulty meeting quality women. There may be quantity, but there is a shortage of quality he said. I’ve heard this statement before, several times from different black men. And by quality this particular guy means a woman with a good job, attractive, fit, self-sufficient, and no children (even though he has two kids in tow but I didn’t call him on that one, not yet).

I freely admit that dating is challenge for most, if not all. There are so many factors involved (e.g., timing, availability, location, attraction, happenstance, societal pressures, and the list goes on). Furthermore, these days we expect to have it all when it comes to long-term partnership. We’re not simply looking for financial security and pursuing procreation as the daters who came before us. We’re all about the total package in 2016. Is he cute? Is she smart? Does he make me laugh? What’s her credit score?  Is he physically active? Does she like sports?

So we’ve set the bar high folks (or at least most of us have). And finding “one of the ones” who meets our non-negotionables isn’t easy.

That being said, I still maintain that it’s harder for women, than for men.  In All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, author Rebecca Traister said that women tend to get the short end of the stick in romantic realm. Hells yeah. And it gets even more difficult as we women age (gracefully, no less).

I’d rather not hear men complain about quality when they, at the very least, have quantity.  There can be no quality if there is no quantity; and that’s where many 30+ women land. Where?  Oh where, is the quantity? Since returning to the DC area, most of the men I meet in my age range (who seem decent and are physically attractive) are already spoken for. It’s called assortative mating. And as women age, the number of single available males dwindles. Jon Birger examines this in Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game.

I feel  as though I’ve discussed this ad nauseam on WABGTD (see past posts) as well as in my personal life with family, friends, and coworkers.  I’m kinda tired of talking about it. And I’m certainly tired of hearing men complain, especially a man who already has someone.

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John Oliver Gives It to the Washington Redskins

10 Nov

On this week’s episode of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver took on the Washington Redskins and their owner Daniel Snyder (again). The franchise is fighting back after a federal judge upheld the cancellation of its trademark due to its offensive nature.

Check out the segment below. Sorry for the murky quality. It’s the only version I could embed on my blog. But here’s a clearer clip.

And shout out to the University of Missouri for taking down their racially insensitive/inept administration. It gives one hope. Dave Zirin penned an excellent article on it for The Nation.  Zirin and New Yorker writer and professor Jelani Cobb delved into the matter last night on All In with Chris Hayes.

Fight the power people.

New Ish

22 Jan

new ish2So Issa Rae has a new web series, The Legend of Human Black Guy. I like the spirit of it which I assume is to humanize the black man. I’ll have to keep watching. And if you’re in the DMV, Issa Rae will be at Sixth & I on February 24th to discuss her collection of essays The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. I’ve got my ticket.

And here’s the first episode of The Legend of Human Black Guy.

Your thoughts?

Also Lupe Fiasco’s latest CD Tetsuo & Youth dropped on Tuesday. I plan to pick up my copy tomorrow from Target. Yes the actual hard copy CD (people still do that). What can I say, I just love Lu and his artwork on the cover! Talk about a Renaissance man….

And if you’re in the Atlanta area, please check out my cousin’s new spot Dream Cafe.  Thus far they have hosted a Vision Board event as well as the venue’s kickoff opening celebration this past Sunday. There are more events sure to come. Shout out to my talented cousin (Nevaina Rhodes) and her generous sponsor! Please support if you can and spread the word down in the dirty.


Men of the DMV

5 Jan

image courtesy of strictlyfitteds.com

So this blog post ruffled some feathers of a coworker, naturally so because he’s a native of Prince George’s County and has lived in this area most of his life aside from his years in undergrad. In fact, he said he could “wipe his ass” with this blog post. Yes, he’s a charmer.  In the post, men of the DMV are given a failing grade.  I freely admit the author of the post is superficial and immature with misplaced values, however I feel there are kernels of truth in her descriptions of DMV men and dating life. Case in point the lackluster wardrobe (not that that’s a dealbreaker for me) for DC metropolitan men. The locals are pretty basic but like I said wardrobe is immaterial (for the most part). Also the author noted that impact of the lack of available men and how this dearth disfavors women of the area, but that could be said in any imbalanced dating scenario.  Right?

How would you rate DMV men and your dating experiences with them?

Thanks to my BFF for sending me the blog post!

Priced Out of the City

8 Sep

Image courtesy of Cafe Press

So I was hoping to sale my place in the burbs and purchase a condo in the city (a long-held dream). Talk about a dream deferred — I just can’t afford it. And if I can I’ll be living in a matchbox, a definite downgrade from where I am now. But it’s all about location, location, location — right?

No surprise why the chocolate city is becoming more of a mocha creme.

You can purchase this throw pillow from Cafe Press.

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