Tag Archives: Washington DC

Murmurings of a Black Male

17 Nov

This week I listened to a black man profess to having difficulty meeting women in the DC area.

eye-roll

Stats include he’s 30, highly-educated, decent looking, gainfully employed, and (from what I can discern) self-sufficient. He is also the father of two boys; he had a child at 20 and then again with his now ex-wife. (If I have the story right.) He’s certainly not the tallest man in the room. I’m guessing in the 5’7 to 5’8 range, so if you’re a stickler for height he might not make the cut. (Get it? Tee hee.) But surely there are enough petit women roaming these DMV streets who won’t take issue with his height. Or nah?

So of course I counter with — all these women around here and you’re complaining….(my usual response). He has a girlfriend BTW; they’ve been dating for a year. According to Mr. Looks-Good-On-Paper, he finds difficulty meeting quality women. There may be quantity, but there is a shortage of quality he said. I’ve heard this statement before, several times from different black men. And by quality this particular guy means a woman with a good job, attractive, fit, self-sufficient, and no children (even though he has two kids in tow but I didn’t call him on that one, not yet).

I freely admit that dating is challenge for most, if not all. There are so many factors involved (e.g., timing, availability, location, attraction, happenstance, societal pressures, and the list goes on). Furthermore, these days we expect to have it all when it comes to long-term partnership. We’re not simply looking for financial security and pursuing procreation as the daters who came before us. We’re all about the total package in 2016. Is he cute? Is she smart? Does he make me laugh? What’s her credit score?  Is he physically active? Does she like sports?

So we’ve set the bar high folks (or at least most of us have). And finding “one of the ones” who meets our non-negotionables isn’t easy.

That being said, I still maintain that it’s harder for women, than for men.  In All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, author Rebecca Traister said that women tend to get the short end of the stick in romantic realm. Hells yeah. And it gets even more difficult as we women age (gracefully, no less).

I’d rather not hear men complain about quality when they, at the very least, have quantity.  There can be no quality if there is no quantity; and that’s where many 30+ women land. Where?  Oh where, is the quantity? Since returning to the DC area, most of the men I meet in my age range (who seem decent and are physically attractive) are already spoken for. It’s called assortative mating. And as women age, the number of single available males dwindles. Jon Birger examines this in Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game.

I feel  as though I’ve discussed this ad nauseam on WABGTD (see past posts) as well as in my personal life with family, friends, and coworkers.  I’m kinda tired of talking about it. And I’m certainly tired of hearing men complain, especially a man who already has someone.

shut up.gif

 

John Oliver Gives It to the Washington Redskins

10 Nov

On this week’s episode of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver took on the Washington Redskins and their owner Daniel Snyder (again). The franchise is fighting back after a federal judge upheld the cancellation of its trademark due to its offensive nature.

Check out the segment below. Sorry for the murky quality. It’s the only version I could embed on my blog. But here’s a clearer clip.

And shout out to the University of Missouri for taking down their racially insensitive/inept administration. It gives one hope. Dave Zirin penned an excellent article on it for The Nation.  Zirin and New Yorker writer and professor Jelani Cobb delved into the matter last night on All In with Chris Hayes.

Fight the power people.

Same Old, Same Old [Dating & Mating in the DMV]

30 Jul

So tonight I went to Busboys and Poets to attend this panel discussion on love and relationships in the African-American community sponsored by Krystal Glass.  The panel was to include the creators of web site Black Love and Marriage, Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at; author of Bitch is the New Black, Helena Andrews; founder of Wifey in Training, NeeCee Simmons; co-creator of the blog Very Smart Brothas, Panama Jackson; and Jamal Muhammed, host of the radio show The Luv Lounge.

I can’t comment on the actual panel discussion because I chose not to stay.

Why?

Because the audience was filled women, as per usual. There were two men in the audience and I think one of them came with writer Helena Andrews. And secondly, they were charging people $20 to participate in this rubbish. I can sit around in the comfort of my own home and discuss the topic with my single girlfriends for free!

And isn’t the dearth of datable, single black men in the Washington, DC metropolitan area the crux of the “black love bond” that Ms. Glass seeks to explore? The only people seemingly concerned with the dating dynamics in the DMV are single black women and it’s sad.

Sad and hard.

As the late Amy Winehouse croons in Nas’s Cherry Wine, “Where is he, the man who is just like me ….?”

And my fellow sisters and wondering the same fucking thing.

ps 

Yes I am presently stalking Nasir Jones hence the links and yes I know he’s a misogynistic philanderer. I still like him and quite frankly he’s still hot pushing 40. I love it when a man keeps himself together!

Check it!

 

Dating & Mating in the DMV

25 Jul

If you’re in the area and you’d like to discuss matters of the heart, here’s your chance.

It still feels like men have all the power. They still seems to obey their impulses to run away while women are enslaved to their impulses to run toward. As long as men continually get messages about avoiding commitment while women are taught to desperately seek it out, the sexes will always be at odds with each other and nothing will work.    — Elizabeth Wurtzel (courtesy of bell hooks Communion: The Female Search for Love)


 

Wind Me Up Chuck!

16 May

RIP Chuck Brown.  I’m so glad I got to experience him again (relatively) recently. There will be a gathering in Chuck’s honor tonight at 8:00PM on Chuck Brown Way (7th Street NW DC between Florida Avenue and T Street). The Summer Spirit Festival won’t be the same without him.

He’s probably most known for this one here:

But check out this as well. One time for the the church folk. He’s groovin’ ain’t he?   🙂

Wrap It Up People!

21 Dec

I just learned of this documentary, The Other City,  examining the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Washington, DC. “In Washington, D.C., the prevalence of HIV is higher than in the Congo, Ethiopia, Nigeria or Rwanda.”  Check out the trailer. You can see the film on Showtime next month.

Along the same topic, I must applaud Marsha Ambrosius for promoting safe sex in her video, Late Nights and Early Mornings. Her man is a hottie isn’t he?

The 99

6 Oct

So I was wrong – these pics are not from Occupy DC. Apparently I had my movements wrong. These pics are actually from Stop the Machine. Although both movements have somewhat similar goals, they are two distinct groups with Occupy DC occupying McPherson Square and Stop the Machine occupying Freedom Plaza.

Occupy DC is hosting a fundraiser this Friday at Ras. They need your support!

Today during lunch I attended Occupy DC Stop the Machine in Freedom Plaza. It was so wonderful to see such a diverse group of people – young, old, black, white, and so on and so forth. It was awesome! There was music, inspirational speeches, and even Dick Gregory made an appearance. I’ve included a few photos here but you can see the full album here.

Do your part to support the movement! We are the one’s we’ve been waiting for!

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